Two Main Secrets

Angelina says: "Your honor, we beena marry 25 years ana Giuseppi he always picka his nose ana when we maka love he a never letsa me on topa. I justa canna taka dis nomore."

The judge listens solemnly and then addresses Giuseppi. "Giuseppi, is disa true? You always a picka your nose and you never let Angelina on top?? What have you gotta say fora yourself?"

Giuseppi says: "Well your honor, itsa true. I picka my nose a lot and, yeah, Angelina, I tella her she'sa gotta be onna da bottom. Itsa all go's aback to when I'mma a younga boy. My poppa, he's a very smarta man. I always do ev'ryting he'sa say. My poppa one day he says, "Giuseppi, I gotta tella you da two main secrets ofa hava successful life: Number one, you always keepa your nose clean. Ana number two, never screw up!"