A woman almost bit off her husband's willy as he cooked pancakes for tea, while she gave him oral sex.
in the heat of passion he lost his grip on the pan and split boiling oil down her naked back.
She clenched her teeth on his willy and in agony he bashed her on the head with the pan.
Both only admitted how they received their injuries after "intense questioning" by hospital docs.
The man needed treatment to his willy while the wife had burns, two black eyes and a broken cheek bone
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Buzzing undies make shopper faint
A woman collapsed in a supermarket when her vibrating panties made her faint with pleasure.
the housewife was wearing a pair of battery-operated Passion Pants, bought from a sex shop while she did her shopping.
but she got so stimulated by the 6cm vibrating bullet in the panties that she lost consciousness.
She fell and hit her head in the crowded supermarket. when paramedics arrived, they found her black imitation leather knickers still buzzing.
They took them off before ambulance took her to hospital. The woman suffered no long-lasting ill-effects.
And as she left the hospital, a paramedic gave her back the Passion Pants in a plastic bag.
the housewife was wearing a pair of battery-operated Passion Pants, bought from a sex shop while she did her shopping.
but she got so stimulated by the 6cm vibrating bullet in the panties that she lost consciousness.
She fell and hit her head in the crowded supermarket. when paramedics arrived, they found her black imitation leather knickers still buzzing.
They took them off before ambulance took her to hospital. The woman suffered no long-lasting ill-effects.
And as she left the hospital, a paramedic gave her back the Passion Pants in a plastic bag.
10 One Line Humor
1) Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving..
2) Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
3) Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
4) I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.
5) A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.
6) Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
7) Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
8) You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.
9) Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
10) Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired ..
2) Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
3) Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
4) I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.
5) A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.
6) Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
7) Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
8) You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.
9) Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
10) Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired ..
one million dollars
Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool, back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single.
One day he decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, "My dear guests... I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!"
As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large SPLASH!! There was a guy in the pool swimming with all he could - the crowd cheered him on as he kept stroking. Finally, he made it to the other side unharmed.
The millionaire was impressed. He said, "My boy, that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well I must keep my end of the bargain... do you want my daughter or the one million dollars?"
The guy says, "Listen, I don't want your money! And I don't want your daughter! I want the person who pushed me in the pool.
One day he decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, "My dear guests... I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!"
As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large SPLASH!! There was a guy in the pool swimming with all he could - the crowd cheered him on as he kept stroking. Finally, he made it to the other side unharmed.
The millionaire was impressed. He said, "My boy, that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well I must keep my end of the bargain... do you want my daughter or the one million dollars?"
The guy says, "Listen, I don't want your money! And I don't want your daughter! I want the person who pushed me in the pool.
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