The Black Sheep

A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science.

One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child. The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!"

The professor replied, "No, Chief. You're mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion."

The chief was silent for a moment, then said, "Tell you what. You don't say anything more about that sheep and I won't say anything more about that white child."

The Hypnotist Accident

The town fathers were looking for a way to increase attendance and participation at their regular meetings. One member suggested bringing in a hypnotist. The officials agreed, a famous hypnotist was hired, publicity distributed, and everyone was pleased.

A few weeks later the meeting hall was packed, and the town's people sat fascinated as the hypnotist withdrew a pocket watch. The hypnotist began chanting... "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch..."

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly the hypnotist's fingers slipped and the watch fell to the floor...

"Shit" said the hypnotist.

It took three weeks to clean up the town hall.

Oxygen Mask

A man is lying in bed in a Catholic hospital with an oxygen mask over
his mouth. A young auxiliary nurse appears to sponge his face and
hands. "Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles
black?"
Embarrassed the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here
to wash your face and hands."
He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, Are my testicles black?"
Again the nurse replies, "I can't tell. I'm only here to wash your
face and hands."
The ward sister was passing and saw the man getting a little
distraught so marched over to inquire what was wrong.
"Sister," he mumbled, "Are my testicles black?"
Being a nurse of longstanding, the sister was undaunted. She
whipped back the bedclothes, pulled down his pajama trousers,
moved his penis out of the way, had a right good look, pulled up
the pajamas, replaced the bedclothes and announced, "Nothing
wrong with them!!!"
At this the man pulled off his oxygen mask and asked again,
"Are my test results back???"

Cha Siew Pau & Maggi Mee

One day, cha siew pau and maggi mee had a big fight. Maggi mee beat cha siew pau up until it had bruises on its pau body.

Cha Siew Pau loose the fight and went back to tell all the pau family;- Kaya pau, tau sa pau, curry pau, and etc.

So together, all the paus went to find maggi mee for revenge.

On the way... they met Spaghetti.. so all of the pau ran to Spaghetti and BEAT the hell up on Spaghetti that Spaghetti cant say a word,

Spaghetti then scream... 'what did I do? I don't even noe you all'..

Then the cha siew pau say..

'HEH! MAGGI MEE! Don't think I can't recognize you after you do REBONDING!!'

Why Bill Gates decides to Sell OFF Microsoft?

Letter from Banta Singh to Mr. Bill Gates

Subject: Problems with my new computer

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this
2. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this 'find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.
4. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?
5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer': when you will povide the remaining items?
6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that
7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.
8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?
9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.

Last one to Mr. Bill Gates:
Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS?

Regards,
Banta