Why parents drink

Mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see that his
bed
was nicely made and everything was picked up.

Then she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that
was
addressed to "Mom" With the worst premonition she opened the
envelope
with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Mom:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to
elope
with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad
and
you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.
But
I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings,
tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much
older
than I am. But it's not only the passion...Mom she's pregnant. Stacy
said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and
has
a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having
many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really
hurt
anyone.We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the
other
people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we
will
pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better.
She
deserves it. Don't worry Mom. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of
myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you
can
get to know your grandchildren.

Love,
Your Son Jon

P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I
just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the
report
card that's in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.