When I born, I Black,
When I grow up, I Black,
When I go in sun, I Black,
When I scared, I Black,
When I sick, I Black,
When I die, I Black,
And you white fellas :
When you born, you pink,
When you grow up, you white,
When you go in sun, you red,
When you cold, you blue,
When you scared, you yellow,
When you sick, you green,
When you die, you gray & you
calling me colored?
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Why are Call Centre guys paid so much
1 ) Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer : "Ok."
Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
2) Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support : "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
3)Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."
Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer : "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."
4).Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)
5). Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen,
can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Tech support : ??????
6) Tech Support : "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer : "A white one."
Tech support : ?????
7). Tech Support : "What operating system are you running?"
Customer : "Pentium."
Tech support : ??????
8).Cus tomer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."
Tech Support : ??????
9). Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"
Tech support : ??????
10). Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support : "What does it say?"
Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
Tech support : ?????
11). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
12). Tech Support : "What does the screen say now?"
Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support : "Well?"
Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"
Tech support : ??????
The best of the lot
13). A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.
Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: (keep quite)
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
Tech support::
10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech
is frustrated and fed up.
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there
is an undocumented DOS
command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE at
the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User : It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User : MS-DOS 6.22 .
Tech : That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with
NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you
the file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User : I need a new power supply.
Tech support : How did you come to that conclusion?
User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he
started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.
Hight Of all (Too Good)
14) customer care officer: I need a product identification number
right now and may I help u in
finding it out?
Customer: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how do I find your computer?
Customer : "Ok."
Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
2) Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support : "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
3)Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."
Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer : "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."
4).Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)
5). Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen,
can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Tech support : ??????
6) Tech Support : "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer : "A white one."
Tech support : ?????
7). Tech Support : "What operating system are you running?"
Customer : "Pentium."
Tech support : ??????
8).Cus tomer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."
Tech Support : ??????
9). Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"
Tech support : ??????
10). Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support : "What does it say?"
Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
Tech support : ?????
11). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
12). Tech Support : "What does the screen say now?"
Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support : "Well?"
Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"
Tech support : ??????
The best of the lot
13). A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.
Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: (keep quite)
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
Tech support::
10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech
is frustrated and fed up.
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there
is an undocumented DOS
command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE at
the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User : It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User : MS-DOS 6.22 .
Tech : That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with
NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you
the file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User : I need a new power supply.
Tech support : How did you come to that conclusion?
User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he
started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.
Hight Of all (Too Good)
14) customer care officer: I need a product identification number
right now and may I help u in
finding it out?
Customer: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how do I find your computer?
Innocent, Funny & Amazing Letters to President by Little Children
Dear President Obama,
We're almost out of ivory toothpicks and we need a new hedge maze (the old one is too easy). Please give Daddy another tax cut.
Pleeeaaassseee? If you do, I'll get Yolanda to bake you some cookies. She's from Mexico but don't tell anyone 'cuz it's a big secret.
Chip, age 7
Dear President Obama,
I want a Super Soaker and Roller blades and an X-Box 360 with lots of games. Mom says I should write to Santa Claus instead, but he's just some fat Swede and you're the leader of the free world. It's no contest! Anyway, I've been pretty good this year, except for that thing with the glue gun, but that was totally not my fault. Cats just don't listen.
Sonny, age 10
Dear President Obama,
Can you really turn back time? Mommy's life partner says you want to go back to a time when radio was popular and people wore hats and there were tigers everywhere. Just be careful that you don't accidentally kill your own grandmother or grandfather, because then you wouldn't exist. It's a paradox.
Ashley, age 8
Dear President Obama,
There are too many states. I have to memorize all of them AND their stupid capitals (even Bismarck) and it's too hard! Please get rid of some of them before I fail geography. Why not start with North Dakota? It's small and cold and its state animal is a gopher. Nobody likes gophers.
Gene, age 9
Dear President Obama,
Electric cars suck. Please tell the car people to make cars that runs on tofu (YUCK!) and have built-in George Foreman grills for hamburgers (YUM!) and anti-condor catapults on the roof (COOL!). I'll vote for you forever, I promise!
Hank, age 10
Dear President Obama,
I'm hungry. Mommy lost her second job at Target and now we can't afford relish or anything. Please put food on my family! Anything you can spare would be great. God bless!
Conny, age 7
Dear President Obama,
I used to want to be a politician like you, but not anymore. Aunt Lucy says politicians eat pies stuffed with baby birds. I tried to bake a pie like that, and now I'm not allowed in the park anymore, not even just to use the swings. It's not fair!
Teddy, age 9
Dear President Obama,
Please find enclosed fifty cents. I am a lobbyist, this is a campaign contribution, and now I own you. The first thing I want you to do is pass a law against bathtime. I HATE BATHTIME! Do it before supper and there is another fifty cents in it for you.
Zack, age 8
We're almost out of ivory toothpicks and we need a new hedge maze (the old one is too easy). Please give Daddy another tax cut.
Pleeeaaassseee? If you do, I'll get Yolanda to bake you some cookies. She's from Mexico but don't tell anyone 'cuz it's a big secret.
Chip, age 7
Dear President Obama,
I want a Super Soaker and Roller blades and an X-Box 360 with lots of games. Mom says I should write to Santa Claus instead, but he's just some fat Swede and you're the leader of the free world. It's no contest! Anyway, I've been pretty good this year, except for that thing with the glue gun, but that was totally not my fault. Cats just don't listen.
Sonny, age 10
Dear President Obama,
Can you really turn back time? Mommy's life partner says you want to go back to a time when radio was popular and people wore hats and there were tigers everywhere. Just be careful that you don't accidentally kill your own grandmother or grandfather, because then you wouldn't exist. It's a paradox.
Ashley, age 8
Dear President Obama,
There are too many states. I have to memorize all of them AND their stupid capitals (even Bismarck) and it's too hard! Please get rid of some of them before I fail geography. Why not start with North Dakota? It's small and cold and its state animal is a gopher. Nobody likes gophers.
Gene, age 9
Dear President Obama,
Electric cars suck. Please tell the car people to make cars that runs on tofu (YUCK!) and have built-in George Foreman grills for hamburgers (YUM!) and anti-condor catapults on the roof (COOL!). I'll vote for you forever, I promise!
Hank, age 10
Dear President Obama,
I'm hungry. Mommy lost her second job at Target and now we can't afford relish or anything. Please put food on my family! Anything you can spare would be great. God bless!
Conny, age 7
Dear President Obama,
I used to want to be a politician like you, but not anymore. Aunt Lucy says politicians eat pies stuffed with baby birds. I tried to bake a pie like that, and now I'm not allowed in the park anymore, not even just to use the swings. It's not fair!
Teddy, age 9
Dear President Obama,
Please find enclosed fifty cents. I am a lobbyist, this is a campaign contribution, and now I own you. The first thing I want you to do is pass a law against bathtime. I HATE BATHTIME! Do it before supper and there is another fifty cents in it for you.
Zack, age 8
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