Why are Call Centre guys paid so much

1 ) Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer : "Ok."
Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

2) Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support : "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

3)Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."
Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer : "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."

4).Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)

5). Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen,
can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Tech support : ??????

6) Tech Support : "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer : "A white one."
Tech support : ?????

7). Tech Support : "What operating system are you running?"
Customer : "Pentium."
Tech support : ??????

8).Cus tomer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."
Tech Support : ??????

9). Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"
Tech support : ??????

10). Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support : "What does it say?"
Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
Tech support : ?????

11). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

12). Tech Support : "What does the screen say now?"
Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support : "Well?"
Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"
Tech support : ??????

The best of the lot
13). A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.
Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: (keep quite)
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
Tech support::
10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech
is frustrated and fed up.
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there
is an undocumented DOS
command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE at
the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User : It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User : MS-DOS 6.22 .
Tech : That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with
NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you
the file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User : I need a new power supply.
Tech support : How did you come to that conclusion?
User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he
started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.

Hight Of all (Too Good)

14) customer care officer: I need a product identification number
right now and may I help u in
finding it out?
Customer: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how do I find your computer?

Java interview

Ques: What is the difference between an Abstract class and Interface?
Ans: Terms are different ... Nothing more

Ques: What is JFC?
Ans: Jilebi, Fanta Coffee

Ques: Explain 2-tier and 3-tier Architecture ?
Ans: Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres.

Ques: I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server ? Which methodology will follow ?
Ans: Send it through courier.

Ques: Can I modify an object in CORBA ?
Ans: As you wish , I do not have any objections.

Ques: How to communicate 2 threads each other ?
Ans: Non living things can't communicate.

Ques: What is meant by flickering ?
Ans: Closing and opening of eyes at girls.

Ques: Explain RMI Architecture?
Ans: I am a computer professional not an architect student.

Ques: What is the use of Servlets ?
Ans: In hotels, they can replace servers.

Ques: What is the dif ference between Process and Threads ?
Ans: Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process.

Ques: When is update method called ?
Ans: Who is update method?

Ques: What is JAR file ?
Ans: File that can be kept inside a jar.

Ques: What is JINI ?
Ans: A ghost which was Aladdin's friend.

Ques: How will you call an Applet from a _Java Script?
Ans: I will give invitation.

Ques: How you can know about drivers and database information ?
Ans: I will go and enquire in the bus depot.

Ques: What is serialization ?
Ans: Arranging one after the other from left to right.

Ques: What is bean ? Where it can be used ?
Ans: A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.

Ques: Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?
Ans: When we sow a binary seed , a binary tree will grow.

Ques: What is the exact difference between Unicast and Multicast object ?
Ans: If in a society, if there is only one caste, then it is Unicast, else it is multicast.